Fated
by lossofmerlin
Summary: I found myself wondering if it would have ever made a difference at what point Merlin revealed his magic to Arthur? So I decided to write a fic exploring that concept. I initially used the second to last episode and the very first one. I just wrote the reveal scenes. It was fun, so I decided to keep going. I don't know how many episodes I will end up doing.
1. S5E12

S5E12

"Merlin, I know I always joked about you being a coward, but the truth is I never meant it. I always thought you were the bravest man I knew… until now."

Arthur's words stung. Merlin contemplated if he should finally tell Arthur the truth. They might never see each other again. It might be now or never. "Arthur?"

"What is it Merlin," Arthur asked in a weary voice.

"I lied to you just now. About getting herbs for Gaius, I mean."

"You don't say?"

"It's not because I'm scared. It's just because… the truth is… well, I am not sure how you are going to take it." Merlin didn't know if this was a mistake or not but he had already decided on this course of action. All he could do now was see it through to the bitter end. "Arthur…" This was going to be harder than he thought.

"If you have something to say Merlin, just spit it out."

"I am a sorcerer. I have magic," Merlin took Arthur's advice.

Arthur took him serious for only a second before frowning his disapproval at Merlin's choice of deception. "Merlin…" Arthur began in a chiding tone.

"I would try to prove it to you, but I can't because I don't actually _have_ my magic anymore. Not at the moment. Maybe never again. That's why I can't go with you. I have to try and get it back, so I can better protect you."

Arthur wasn't sure why Merlin was intent to continue forward with this lie but something about Merlin's demeanor seemed so serious that Arthur couldn't bring himself to yell at him or try to throw him out. There was obviously something weighing heavy on his friend's mind. Arthur momentarily forgot about the looming battle ahead. He focused only on Merlin. "That's _convenient_ , that you can't actually prove to me that you are a sorcerer," he goaded.

"I know. I wasn't sure what I expected to happen by telling you. I just couldn't bear you thinking I was a coward. I want you to know that I would never abandon you, no matter what the odds were we faced!"

"Then why aren't you coming?"

"I've just told you."

"Merlin, you aren't a sorcerer, I would know."

"Supposing I was. What would you do?"

"Chop your head off," Arthur teased.

Merlin couldn't help his sadness from showing. Not because he believed Arthur's last words but because Arthur didn't believe _him_. He might never get the chance to know Merlin for who he truly was. Merlin might never get the chance to know if Arthur _would_ have accepted him.

Arthur sighed. "I don't know why this is so important to you, but I can see that it is. So let me think… if I found out you were a sorcerer I would…" Arthur paused to ponder this. "I'm not really sure what I would do."

"But you wouldn't chop my head off?"

"Of course not." Arthur said the words because he meant them, but then he paused as it hit him just how true they were. He would never be able to bring himself to kill his best friend. Even if he had magic. "I would feel betrayed because that would mean you would have _lied_ to me for all these years." Arthur tried hard for his friend's sake to imagine just what it would feel like to find out he had magic. "Truth be told I might even feel a bit frightened."

"Thank you."

Arthur tried for a few moments to suss out what all this had been about before giving up. "Well this has been one of our stranger conversations but I'm glad I could help." Arthur had gotten so caught up in imagining what if Merlin possessed magic that now he had a senseless question of his own to ask. "Why now? If you _did_ have magic, why wouldn't you have told me any of the countless times before now?"

"Not a day passed that I didn't want to. At first, I guess I feared what you might do to me. Then we became friends and I didn't think you would kill me… I mean it would be pretty pointless to risk your neck for me all those times just to turn around and off me yourself. I just wasn't sure how you would take it. I didn't want you to hate me."

"Merlin, if you did have magic, that would mean you were probably serious all the times you bragged about saving my life. It would also mean that magic can't be all that bad, not only account of you keeping me safe but because you are one of the best men I know. I would probably bring magic back to the kingdom, if there was a chance there would be more men like you who would use it for good."

Tears filled Merlin's eyes. "Arthur…"

Arthur pulled himself out of this odd reverie and began to get frustrated with the whole line of conversation. "This is stupid! I don't even know why we are talking about this."

"I'm sorry I waited so long to talk about this Arthur. But I promise never to keep anything from you again. If I do manage to get my powers back, I will come save you, like I always do and always will. Then you will see that I told you the truth and I must trust that you have done likewise."

Arthur shook his head at Merlin. No matter how hard Merlin pushed this idea he would never buy into it. Whatever the real reason Merlin wasn't coming, at least Arthur now knew it must be serious. "I know you aren't a coward Merlin. You go and do what you have to do and hurry back." Arthur clapped him on the shoulder and Merlin placed his arm over Arthur's.

Merlin nodded in determination. "I will."


	2. S1E1

S1E1

What the hell was that, Arthur wondered. Had he just imagined things or had Merlin's eyes just glowed?

"Do you give up," Merlin demanded as he swung the mace around.

The moron didn't even know how to hold it properly, Arthur mused. Merlin's attention was diverted for a moment and Arthur took his chance to knock him to the ground with a broom. He was angry and couldn't help but land a decent blow to Merlin's back and then make a mock show of sweeping the floor of him.

Guards rushed in to carry Merlin no doubt back to the dungeon. Arthur stopped them. "Let him go." The guards obeyed and released him. Arthur faced Merlin. "You might be an idiot, but you're a brave one." What _was_ it about this stranger? "There's something about you Merlin, I can't quite put my finger on."

Merlin was fed up. He was tempted to enlighten Arthur. Why not? "I have magic," he said softly for Arthur's ears only. Merlin hadn't actually intended on saying that, but there it was. He held his breath.

Arthur gave a loud laugh. _"You_?!"

Merlin hadn't noticed when Gaius had ambled over to them. "Sire, do not listen to him. He has a terrible sense of humor."

"Oh I don't know Gaius, he made me laugh."

"Is he free to go then sire?"

Arthur waved them off with his hand.

Gaius was quick to comply. He shoved Merlin along.

Arthur couldn't shake an uneasy feeling. He was sure he had seen Merlin's eyes seem to glow earlier. Could it be possible that he _did_ have magic? "Wait!" Arthur called out. "I have changed my mind. Guards! Take him to the dungeon."

Gaius was aghast.

"I'm sorry Gaius," Merlin managed out before he was jostled away.

Merlin got deposited back into the same cell that he had slept the previous night.

"I need a private moment," Arthur told the guards. Once they had left he walked into the cell to face Merlin. "Do you know why you are here," Arthur asked.

"Because you're a prat."

Arthur gritted his teeth. He lowered his voice. "No, because you claimed to have magic."

Merlin raised an eyebrow at this. "So why are you talking to me instead of your father?"

"Because I don't want a man condemned to death just because he foolishly falsely accused himself. And if my father got word that is just what would happen."

"The only foolishness is that magic is viewed as evil. It's neither good nor bad. Only men are. The same applies for knights and even kings! I was born the way I am. I have had to hide my whole life. When I finally confided in my best friend and my mother found out she made me leave the only home I had ever known. She sent me here to be safe."

"To _Camelot_?" Arthur asked incredulously.

"We didn't know about the ban on magic. I found out the day I arrived when I saw a man beheaded for it."

Arthur was unaware that he had started to believe Merlin. "Why didn't you just leave then?"

Merlin shrugged. "I had nowhere to go. I liked it here. I didn't think anyone would find out."

"Then you shouldn't go using it in fights against the crown prince!"

Merlin glared at him. "As if it was a fair fight otherwise. I had never wielded a weapon before." In his anger he moved suddenly and winced at where his back had been struck with the broom.

Arthur felt a pang of guilt. "Look, I know I will probably regret this but I am going to let you go free. I'm not even sure why." He stared at Merlin as if he could find the answers there. "But if what you said is true then you have to cool it with the magic."

Merlin couldn't feel gratitude through his self-pity. "Without magic what good am I?! If I can't use magic I might as well be dead."

Arthur gave him a disgusted look. "You really are an idiot aren't you? Now get out of here before I change my mind!" He moved aside from the doorway.

Merlin slowly walked towards the cell door. He paused to ask, "So you don't think I'm a monster?"

Arthur would normally toss out another insult but Merlin looked so dejected that he held his tongue to that. "I have always been taught that magic is evil." What else could he say?

Merlin nodded and left the cell.

"But," Arthur added, "You don't seem like a monster to me. Just an imbecile."

o

That night Merlin awoke in bed to his name being called, as had happened the two previous nights since arriving in Camelot. He decided it was high time to investigate the source.


	3. S1E2 pt1

S1E2 1of2

"I thought I told you to get out of my sight," Arthur said wearily to Merlin.

"Because you can't trust me? I wanted you to know that you _can_ trust me, to always be honest." Merlin paused. "About everything."

Arthur turned towards him in curiosity.

"I am putting full trust in you too Arthur, not to hurt me because of that honesty."

" _Hurt_ you?"

"Like you did by sacking me? Or maybe one day worse. I just want you to remember that I am honest with you by choice, even if it comes at great risk to myself. I gladly take that risk for I was meant to serve and protect you Arthur. I know one day you will rise to be Albion's greatest king."

"Merlin I..."

Merlin handed Arthur a paper that had been folded together many times. "Here."

Arthur started to open it.

"Wait until I leave. I want you to have time to think things through. I will just be in my room, so don't feel the need to... rush. Just take your time. _Please_." Merlin turned and left.

Arthur slowly unfolded the note. He didn't know why he felt nervous about whatever it was that Merlin might have to say. He hardly knew him and he was just a servant after all. Arthur's hands shook a little as he read the only three words scrawled onto the page. _I have magic_.


	4. S1E2 pt2

S1E2 pt2

Merlin lay back on his bed and shut his eyes. He had just gotten through trying many times to get a spell to work, with no luck. He sighed and was about to get back to it when he heard Arthur call his name from outside his door. Merlin kept his eyes closed. "Come in," he replied. He heard just one person enter and reclose the door. That was a good sign at least. He opened his eyes now to look at Arthur. "So you have come alone then?"

"For now."

Fear crossed over Merlin's stomach. An awkward silence hung between them.

Arthur looked around the room. "I have never been in here. It's... cozy." Arthur's eyes fell on a statue of a dog. "Wait, isn't that one of the statues from the courtyard?"

"Yes. I needed it because I have been working on a way to expose knight Valiant for the traitor he is, and..."

Arthur forced out a laugh.

"What," Merlin asked, perplexed.

" _You_ speak of traitors," Arthur accused.

Merlin sat up and was quick to defend himself. "I'm not a traitor. I love Camelot. I would do anything to protect it, as well as your family, including your father who would kill me in a heartbeat if he knew the truth.

"In fact the main reason I started learning magic was to better protect you. Gaius says that is my gifts' purpose."

Arthur raised to alert. "Gaius?"

" _No_." Merlin scrambled off the bed and looked at Arthur imploringly. "I don't care what you do to me just please don't blame Gaius. He only found out when I used it in front of him. His only crime was having too good a heart to turn me in." Merlin got caught up in the memory and began to recount the tale. "I had just entered Gaius' quarters for the first time. He was up on a high ledge and I startled him. He fell. He would have died. So I acted on instinct. I slowed his fall and then I moved his bed to be directly under him."

Arthur looked both unnerved and also unconvinced.

Merlin figured he could at least remedy one of the two. "Like this." He used his ability to pull his chair close to Arthur. "Would you care to sit?"

Arthur seemed wary but he took a seat. Merlin did likewise on his bed.

"After I saved Gaius he knew what happened right away. He started yelling at me, demanding to know where I studied magic. I tried to deny it at first but Gaius can be very persistent. I admitted that I was born this way. He insisted that was impossible. He said he wouldn't turn me in but that I had to promise never to use my gifts. I had no complaint! I had only just seen a man beheaded for practicing magic." Merlin paused in his story. He looked at Arthur earnestly. "Then I met _you_. You had to be such a prat. You goaded me into that fight. I had to use my gifts or you would have taken my head off."

"Wait, you _cheated_ with magic?!"

"It's not cheating if it's my natural abilities," Merlin retorted. He waited to see if Arthur would interrupt again before he continued. "I apologized to Gaius and promised never again. But then with Lady Helena... everyone started falling asleep, so I covered my ears. I saw her raise a dagger aimed right at you. So I..." Merlin's eyes misted up at the memory of taking a life. "I felled the chandelier on her."

"There is no shame in that Merlin."

Merlin nodded his head. "I know." He knew it had been the right thing to do. That didn't help the guilt he felt over it. But he knew right now he needed to be _here_. He composed himself and continued. "I had to use my gift again to slow her second dagger attempt enough that I would have time to pull you out of the way. Gaius had seen where I had been originally standing and knew I could have never made it to you in time without the help of magic.

"He cornered me back at home and told me that he thought that was the purpose of my gifts, to protect you. He gave me this book of magic." Merlin gestured to the open book. "I have been trying to learn but it isn't easy." Merlin realized this whole time he had been trying to avoid the main topic at hand. Arthur knew he had magic. Merlin had no idea what would happen now. "Arthur… please tell me your thoughts about all of this."

Arthur stared at him incredulously. "Merlin I don't know _what_ to say…" He hesitated. "Except that I will keep your secret and when I am king you will never need live in fear for your life again."

Merlin wasn't sure he had heard right. "What are you saying Arthur?"

"I'm not sure what that will mean. I only know that you have shown that magic doesn't make a man evil, but it is the evil of men that can taint magic."

Merlin's eyes welled with tears.

"Don't be such a _girl_ Merlin!"

Merlin glared at him.

Arthur gestured to the stolen dog statue. "You mentioned this statue? How will it help?"

"I need to make it come to life."

Arthur was shocked. "Can you do that," he asked warily.

"Not sure." Merlin focused on the statue. This was going to be the time it worked, it just _had_ to. He would impress Arthur with his skills. He would save the day. He spoke the words of magic...

"What did that do," Arthur asked curiously. "That was magic, right?" Arthur noticed Merlin's disappointed look. "Wait, was that you _trying_ to use magic?" A smile played at his lips.

"I told you I am just learning!"

"Let me try."

"What?" Merlin had to change gears to process what Arthur had just said.

"I am a fast learner."

"Arthur, magic isn't just something you pick up one day."

"But you've said you are the rare case to be born with natural gifts. Everyone else has to learn the old fashioned way, right? You yourself are just learning. I can't do any worse than you."

Merlin was incensed but he decided it would be faster to let Arthur make a fool of himself than to argue further. "Fine."

Merlin said the words slowly and Arthur clumsily followed along until Arthur had them memorized. Then they spoke them together. Nothing happened.

"Again," Arthur commanded.

They spoke the words more confidently this time. "Bebiede þe arisan cwicum." Merlin felt the magic rise within him. They were both startled when the dog began to growl. They hurried from the room.

They were both grinning as they stood on the other side of the door.

"We did it," Arthur exclaimed.

Merlin highly doubted that Arthur had been any part of the magic but he didn't correct him. Besides, it _had_ actually felt helpful to have Arthur alongside him. Merlin noticed from Gaius' window that the sun was starting to come up. "Come on, we have to get you to that tournament! Then I will do the same thing to the snakes."


End file.
